Response to Girl With Anxiety

I'm a member of SITS ( a group of 40,000 women bloggers dedicated to supporting one another by leaving comments & learning about blogging). Each week SITS hosts Saturday Sharefest, which allows you to post a link to your favorite blog post from the week, and in turn, you are supposed to read the blog of the person who posted before you and be sure to leave a comment.

It seems like a good way to get traffic to your blog and maybe pick up some new readers (I normally submit a post from Tinsel & Tine).  But it hasn't been very effective for me. I do follow the rules and read someone's blog post from the site and make a comment, even if it's not the last person who posted before me. But I often find my blog still devoid of comments at the end of my Saturday:(

Anyway, the blog I read today is called Singing Through The Rain and she wrote a post called "The Secret Life of a Girl With Anxiety. 

I admired her courage in writing the post and found myself responding with more that just the perfunctory "Stopping by from SITS - Nice blog". Here's my comment:

A very moving and brave post. I'm glad you were able to write it. Anxiety is so very difficult to deal with. I've suffered from panic attacks too and in the beginning truly believed I was having a stroke or heart attack. The mind/body/spirit connection is an actuality that many people scoff at as new age crap, but in actuality, if one's mind and spirit are in turmoil, the body reacts in debilitating ways.

I admire those who suffer with anxiety but are still able to get married and have children. I feel like my problems with anxiety have in some ways prevented me from having a relationship that could lead to marriage. I try to alleviate my stress and fears through meditation, acupuncture, exercise, and a magnesium complex I get from Whole Foods called Calm, but there are times I feel I should be taking something stronger.

I am thankful my anxiety is not just general and across the board or all the time or has an unknown cause. Mine has always been centered around lifestyle - desperately seeking a certain lifestyle. It really kicked in at age 38 when I realized my life was no where near being where I thought I'd be at that age, with no knowledge, ability or plan of how to catch up to my age and live out my dreams.

I'm constantly working on acceptance and trying to enjoy the present (see blog post from July), but it's very hard.

Visiting from SITS

10 Best Films I (Tinsel & Tine) Saw in 2011

Cross-over post - at the time of posting this list, I had wanted to keep my commentary of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy and bartering for skiwear at the top of Tinsel & Tine, so I posted my year-end 10 Best Films of 2011 here on my musing's site.

By this time last year, I was in accordance with the rest of the film community and was excited by such films as The Fighter, The King's Speech, Black Swan and Toy Story 3.  This season, there's really nothing that stellar.  Although admittedly, I've yet to see Ides of March and probably will never see War Horse.

So Here's it is - the order is a combination of enjoyment and craft:

1. Rise of the Planet of the Apes
2. Martha Marcy May Marlene
3. X-Men:First Class
4. The Help
5. Limitless
6. Shame
7. Circumstance
8. Toast
9. Kinyarwanda
10. Win Win

Although my list may be somewhat eclectic, these were the films that immediately came to mind when I sat down to do a top 10 list for T & T.  Each of the above films has a combination of seamless storytelling and characters that just struck a chord within me.

Runners up were: MoneyBall, I Will Follow, Contagion and Midnight in Paris.

There's such a thing as taking politeness too far!

When I leave my apartment in the morning, freshly coiffed, chicly adorned, strutting in my heels; and I encounter the two cute, twenty-something guys who recently moved in down the hall - I do not want to hear from them "good morning MA'AM!" 

I am not a ma'am, nor will I ever be. A ma'am is a tired washed out old bag.

Well, so much for my fantasy of going to borrow a cup of sugar from these two hotties. I can only hope they are gay.

OMG, I Can't Believe I Just Ordered a Smart Phone!

I'm funny about technology, sometimes I love it, like blogging, and other times I'm good with having way below state-of-the-art, like my TV which is circa 1994.

It's really more like I hate to upgrade until it's absolutely necessary. Ostensibly, this is due to financial restrictions, but sometimes I wonder if I wouldn't do the same thing if I won the Publisher's Clearing House. (Which, I online enter everyday).

Earlier this month, Philadelphia Cinema Alliance contacted me to blog and do social media for QFEST (Philadelphia's Gay and Lesbian Film Festival) This was so excellent, cause it's actually my first paid blogging gig!  And I'm not even Gay! Unfortunately, because I started two weeks ago and will work up until 7/19, my eventual income from it will be about 25cents an hour, but it's a good start.

Anyway, since I need to be able to tweet and fb and check-in (foursquare) at different times during the day; and my day gig blocks employees from social media sites. I decided it was actually time to upgrade my little Cricket phone to a face fingering, Smart Phone.  Didn't go with the IPhone. Orginally was going to get a Blackberry, but couldn't work out an upgrade deal with Cricket.  Then I thought, maybe instead of a phone, I'll just get a Mobile Broadband Device for my Netbook.  So, I went to Sprint and got hooked up with one $70 a month!

I was told it would replace my slow 768kps Verizon DSL.  Only problem the Sprint Sierra Wireless 250U 3G/4G USB doesn't run well on my desktop, it's no faster than my DSL and it doesn't get enough signal strength to interface with facebook applications like adding links, photos or video & sometimes the Twitter page won't come up at all! Works a little better on the Netbook, but often has the same delimmas.

So I called Sprint to say I'm cancelling the service (still within my 30 day trial) And, as sales people are supposed to do, Francis talked me into getting the HTC Evo 4G.  Which according to her is going to not only be my phone, but also my wireless router for both my at home desktop and on the go with my netbook. 

When I said how do you know this will get enough signal quality to give me internet speed on my 5 year old, running XP desktop?  She said I might have to purchase a wireless converter from Radio Shack, but that the technology in the HTC Evo is far superior to the mobile broadband device. 

Cost: $27.00 for the phone itself as a new customer/$69.99 for monthly phone charges/ $29.99/mo for the wireless modem capability /$10/mo for just having the privilege of a smart phone and $7/mo for insurance. God knows what the tax will be, but let's just say another $10. Grand total! = $129.23/mo.

But I'll drop Cricket at $55/mo /drop Verizon which was only $21.99/mo, but too slow to even watch a video on Youtube. And, I had ordered a pocket camcorder on Amazon to use at the festival ($150.00 used) and now I cancelled that order, cause I feel the camcorder on the new phone will be good enough for my festival capturing.

So, I'll let you know how it goes.  It will suck if it doesn't work as my internet service, cause then what!? God willing, my biggest problem will be getting used to a buttonless (touch screen) phone and learning all those apps!