Response to Girl With Anxiety

I'm a member of SITS ( a group of 40,000 women bloggers dedicated to supporting one another by leaving comments & learning about blogging). Each week SITS hosts Saturday Sharefest, which allows you to post a link to your favorite blog post from the week, and in turn, you are supposed to read the blog of the person who posted before you and be sure to leave a comment.

It seems like a good way to get traffic to your blog and maybe pick up some new readers (I normally submit a post from Tinsel & Tine).  But it hasn't been very effective for me. I do follow the rules and read someone's blog post from the site and make a comment, even if it's not the last person who posted before me. But I often find my blog still devoid of comments at the end of my Saturday:(

Anyway, the blog I read today is called Singing Through The Rain and she wrote a post called "The Secret Life of a Girl With Anxiety. 

I admired her courage in writing the post and found myself responding with more that just the perfunctory "Stopping by from SITS - Nice blog". Here's my comment:

A very moving and brave post. I'm glad you were able to write it. Anxiety is so very difficult to deal with. I've suffered from panic attacks too and in the beginning truly believed I was having a stroke or heart attack. The mind/body/spirit connection is an actuality that many people scoff at as new age crap, but in actuality, if one's mind and spirit are in turmoil, the body reacts in debilitating ways.

I admire those who suffer with anxiety but are still able to get married and have children. I feel like my problems with anxiety have in some ways prevented me from having a relationship that could lead to marriage. I try to alleviate my stress and fears through meditation, acupuncture, exercise, and a magnesium complex I get from Whole Foods called Calm, but there are times I feel I should be taking something stronger.

I am thankful my anxiety is not just general and across the board or all the time or has an unknown cause. Mine has always been centered around lifestyle - desperately seeking a certain lifestyle. It really kicked in at age 38 when I realized my life was no where near being where I thought I'd be at that age, with no knowledge, ability or plan of how to catch up to my age and live out my dreams.

I'm constantly working on acceptance and trying to enjoy the present (see blog post from July), but it's very hard.

Visiting from SITS

Quick Review: The Night Circus -"Wonderfully Weird"

 

 

Audible.com allows us to rate the books after we've listened to them, so figured I may as well post my review to Book of Hours too:

 

The Night Circus by  Erin Morgenstern

 

 

Audible: Would you listen to The Night Circus again? Why?

Me: I don't normally listen to books twice. However, I did so love the odd rhythm of this novel, that if I were to revisit books, I would put "The Night Circus" on my re-listen list.

Audible: What was one of the most memorable moments of "The Night Circus"?

 

Me: All the scenes involving Celia and Prospero (her father) are engrossing. Their love/hate relationship holds many facets. The reader is always aware the stakes of  "the game" are much higher than either Celia or Marco are aware and it's made doubly wicked by the fact that Perspero is so willing to possibly sacrifice his only daughter.

Audible: Rate narrator Jim Dale's performance

Me: A+

Audible:Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Me: No. It's engrossing, but does not have a traditional narrative, you tend to want to enjoy it in smaller sessions.

Audible: Any additional comments?

Me: This book may as well have been written as a screenplay first. It's so easy to imagine it as a film. The colorful characters and the black and white set. I can't wait to see all the clever CGI they'll use to create the magical illusions of Le Cirque des Reves. And also the spectacle of red scarfs and roses against a backdrop of en noir et blanc.

September 2012 Full Moon

Will Things Go to Shit If You Live in the Present?

For me, the present being a present, is such a hard concept to grasp. 

Everything good is always in the past or a desperate hope for the future; made ever more desperate with each passing birthday.

The present is most often just things you're trying to get done before going to bed. These things hardly ever feel as if they are preparing the way of a good outcome for the future.

I wanna put my trust in The Universe - too concentrate on truly enjoying or at least being fully engaged, presently in whatever I'm doing - whomever I'm with - where ever I am; and in turn, the Universe will keep providing me with more and more of what I want. So that eventually, the future that I worried about, is my present, and it's still all good.

But this kind of trust requires blocking out anything you've ever felt was a mistake on your part. A mistake made from not being ever vigilant, from not properly preparing for the future, for not worrying enough.  You see people in bad financial straights once they retire; you see lonely people who never found anyone with whom to share their life; you see dreams that never came close to being fulfilled.  All this keeps you from believing in a simple concept like - "Live in the Present".

Earth Abides

I love audiobooks evermore now that I can listen to them on my phone (Android). It seems odd to me now to think of sitting stationery in one place, using all your concentration on only the task at hand; where in contrast, if you listen to a book, you can do chores, walk, work, cook, drive, shop...

Most recently I finished listening to Earth Abides by George R. Stewart.  It's a post-apocalyptic story of sorts written in 1949, but for all accounts you would swear it was written within the last decade or so.  Of course there's no mention of internet or cellphones; but otherwise, I feel Stewart does an uncanny job of depicting an earth populated with only a handful of survivors of a deadly plague.

The main character Ish is a studious young man who considers himself an observer of life. A trait that serves him well in the aftermath of the disaster, helping him to keep his equilibrium, where other survivors lose their minds trying to comprehend and live with the magnitude of loss.

Eventually, Ish takes a wife, father's offspring and gathers together a few people to form a community - "The Tribe". Soon the tribe begins to procreate and eventually those children inner marry.

Throughout we witness the changes in nature due to the lack of population and how it affects Ish and his tribe.  Before long, a great deal of fear and desolation gets replaced by the joy that freedom brings - freedom from government, currency, most diseases get wiped out, there's no need to work, no need to rush around or keep exact time; instead play, relaxation and the enjoyment of each other become the way of life. Of course there's day to day necessities, still, it's an existence without ambition and stress.

And here in lies the crux of the novel. Ish is concerned about the deterioration of society and civilization, but he's the only one who seems to feel a sense of responsibility to maintain and restore it. The other survivors are simple people, perfectly content to scavenge off of what was left behind. And much to Ish's dismay the next generation are not thinkers or doers either. He struggles in vain to teach them to read and write and to learn history, but only one child has the least bit of interest in anything academic.  So we see the world reverting back to an almost primitive society.

Well actually, Ish and the others don't know what's happened all over the globe, they have very little knowledge of who has survived outside of a small section of CA, but the book spans over 50 years after the plague and no one strives to reestablish electricity, running water, transportation, phones, TV, stores, government, schools etc...

Normally when one thinks post-apocalyptic, thoughts go to aliens and/or  nuclear war, where the earth is uninhabitable.  Or even Noah's Arc where everything has to begin again from scratch; but it's interesting to think about a world in which everything remains the same for a long time, but without the excess people to muck it all up.

But then, without the excess people, there's no one to run things. So, although you no longer need to have a fortune to vacation along the Amalfi Coast, who's going to fly you there? Who's going to wait on you?  Whose going to cook your 4 star meal? Can you really enjoy it without posting pictures to facebook and tweeting it to make others envious?... hmmm....

Transylvanian Sunrise

When this book is available as an audiobook, I'm going to read it or rather have it read to me.
 
I found out today that governments in certain countries are threatened by Yoga and Meditation and have gone so far as to ban its practice!

Here's the link to the Project Camelot Interview 

Rocky Horror Art

Transylvania Nipple Productions  Photo credit: Le Anne Lindsay

I recently bought a new camera. My first expensive, more than just point and shoot Nikon.

I'm having some difficulty feeling comfortable with it; learning all the features and becoming attached to it the way I was to my 12 year-old, first digital, Olympus camera.

However, I have to say this pic I took last Saturday at the screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, is a money shot!  I really love the composition, the clarity, the theatrics.  I took it from a balcony above.

Perhaps me and the new Nikon are getting better acquainted than I thought.